So The Lemur and I came up with a new TV show we’re going to pitch to the studios.

Cake

Cake Bastards

Taking into account America’s love cake related TV shows AND the love of the suffering of strangers, the premise is this:

  1. The Lemur and I will find some special person who’s having a birthday.
  2. We’ll bake them the most amazing, perfect, delicious cake.
  3. We’ll eat the cake in front of them, describing in detail how great it is, but they can’t have any.

The Lemur: “It’s little Suzy’s 8th birthday, and since her parents are both trapped in an igloo surrounded by bears, we wanted to cheer her up by making her the best birthday cake ever!”

Devon: “Right! So we asked Suzy, and she said she liked chocolate and unicorns, so we make this cake!” — pans to amazing cake.

The Lemur: “We tracked down the last unicorn, milked it, and made the only Unicorn Milk Chocolate ever! Unfortunately the unicorn was shot by animal control officers, so there will never be any more Unicorn Milk Chocolate. Ever.”

Devon: “So let’s see how it tastes!” — Devon and The Lemur whip out forks

The Lemur: “OMG! This Unicorn Milk Chocolate is the best thing ever!!! This is like heaven in food form!”

Devon: “Nomm nosh mummble crumbs! Happy Birthday Suzy!!” — pans to hungry sobbing Suzy

— pans to empty cake tray, and The Lemur and Devon licking frosting off their lips and holding their bellies.

— Fin.